Men and Their Emotions by Ian Wainwright, Counsellor in Sheffield & Online

Men and Their Emotions by Ian Wainwright, Counsellor in Sheffield & Online

Ian Wainwright Counsellor

 

What is the stereotypical male? Everyone might have their own opinion, but we could say that they might be ‘macho’, the ‘bread winner’, shows aggression and always wants to be ’in charge’ etc. When it comes to conversations, football and sport must be very near the top and language used always needs to be of a ‘manly’ nature.

I know, however, that when it comes to relationships, men do have a softer side but this must never be divulged into this ‘manly’ world as "just what would other people think!".

It’s interesting therefore, to understand why men always feel the need to try and keep this false sense of “I’m alright and I don’t need any help thank you” or ”of course I can manage”. When it comes to seeking help it appears that they maybe need as much help as they can get i.e. someone encouraging them to talk about their emotions and feelings, or recommending them to see a professional like a counsellor.

Some interesting facts:
Counselling Coaching Sheffield Doncaster OnlineMen are only 38% of NHS ‘Talking Therapy’ (IAPT) referrals (source HSCIC IAPT data 2014-2015);
Counselling Coaching Sheffield Doncaster Online73% of adults who ‘go missing’ from home are men;
Counselling Coaching Sheffield Doncaster Online87% of rough sleepers are men;
Counselling Coaching Sheffield Doncaster OnlineMen have measurably lower access to the social support of friends, relatives and community;
Counselling Coaching Sheffield Doncaster OnlineMen are 50% more likely than women to be detained and treated for compulsorily as psychiatric inpatients;
Counselling Coaching Sheffield Doncaster OnlineOver three quarters of those individuals who take their own lives are men.

Although things are changing, it is still the case that many men find it difficult to access therapy. Perhaps it’s feelings of shame or what might be talked in the open to a stranger. If difficult emotions and feelings are locked up there is a risk that they will turn into a downward spiral where depression and low self-esteem become rampant.

I know from my own experience such as a death of a close family member, losing a job or being treated very badly by someone in a superior role at work, talking about what it actually feels like is really difficult. It is really easy to hide what is happening. The problem is however, that we all have different lifestyles and relationships. Sometimes those relationships don’t work that well or relationships cease, leaving us lonely with no-one to talk to.

My training and life choices over the years have helped me to talk openly about uncomfortable thoughts I previously would have kept locked away. I now feel comfortable telling others about just how I feel and my general outlook on life is much more comfortable. I can say from a personal point of view, this talking stuff really does work.

So come on guys, man-up, be brave and feel relaxed about saying what you feel to another person. There’s no stigma, and to quote Ruby Wax: “IT’S OK NOT TO BE OK”.

 

 

Ian Wainwright CounsellorIan Wainwright is a Counsellor in Sheffield and online. He has worked in the care sector since 1986 (learning disabilities, mental health and community based projects) and has worked within an education role as a Lecturer at a Chesterfield College.

 

 

To discuss how Ian could help, or to make an appointment, please contact our Sheffield office via the details below.

Contact the Beacon Counselling & Coaching Group

Sheffield Call Beacon Counselling Coaching Groupcall 0114 229 5737 Text Beacon Counselling Coaching Grouptext 07961 190749 Email Beacon Counselling Coaching Groupemail anne@bccg.org.uk
Doncaster Call Beacon Counselling Coaching Groupcall 01302 247722 Text Beacon Counselling Coaching Grouptext 0786 3332647 Email Beacon Counselling Coaching Groupemail shireen@bccg.org.uk

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Men and Their Emotions
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Men and Their Emotions
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What is the stereotypical male? Everyone might have their own opinion, but we could say that they might be ‘macho’, the ‘bread winner’, shows aggression and always wants to be ’in charge’ etc. Ian Wainwright looks at what makes it difficult for men to talk about difficult feelings and emotions and the risks of not doing so.
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Beacon Counselling & Coaching Group
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